Small Embarrassments: In Which Ice Cream-Related Disaster Is Narrowly Averted



I often whine about working in a corporate office building. After years in a beautiful library sharing an office space with two colleagues, sitting in a cubicle farm with an outward-facing monitor is a hardship. Every now and again there’s a bonus to traditional office life. Like today, when the building managers threw an ice cream social. I went downstairs at 2 to collect my share, a scoop of toffee crunch in a sugar cone cup. What a novel presentation! I gripped my cane with my left hand, holding the cone-cup as gingerly as possible as I made my way to the toppings table. One step. Two steps. Crunch! My poor motor skills caused a wobble followed by an overcompensating grasp to steady things, leading to a “Hulk smash!” moment. Half of the cone-cup crumbled to the floor as I cradled the remaining cone bits and ice cream in my hands. A colleague called for a regular bowl, but, alas, they had run out. Another colleague rushed over napkins, on which we placed a fresh cone-bowl, in which I placed my slightly mangled dessert. The ice cream lady apologized repeatedly as if she had somehow caused the near calamity. I slunk back to the toppings table for hot fudge.


None of these toppings were offered, BTW.


I live to eat and drink, but eating and drinking now comes with risk. Cutting meat at a nice dinner often results in silverware clattering down to the plate . . . or, worse, the floor. The hand-hand coordination of bread buttering is daunting. A full glass of any beverage is a hazard to all within a three foot radius. I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop eating steak or start eating my bread unbuttered, though. I suffer these small embarrassments with a polite apology and a smile and let life (and the meal) go on.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Totally Not Defying Gravity: In Which We Learn About Life from the Perspective of the Fallen

Image
I fall down. A lot. As you can read here , there are many reasons why people with MS have trouble walking. Me, I experience foot drop on my left side, which causes me to trip over my own feet. My balance isn't great, nor is my energy. All of that plus a habit of moving too fast and pushing too hard means plenty of falling. Usually it’s a simple toe-caught-on-the-uneven sidewalk sort of thing. Or maybe a changed-directions-too-quickly-at-home collapse. Or a it’s-3am-and-I-forgot-our-bedroom-has a-step-in-it spill. (Yes, our bedroom has a step in it. I know, I know.) Whenever/wherever/however I fall, my first thought is always the quickest of body scans before my mind races to witnesses and how to appease them. I spend significantly more time worrying about ensuring that those around me are okay with what has happened and minimizing their embarrassment than I do about my own welfare. Maybe it’s a lady thing. Maybe it’s a Rebecca thing. It’s just what I do. Tuesday morning I wal
Read more

The Urethra Monologues, Part Two: In Which I Am Thrust Into the World of Self-Catheterization

Image
Six months after braving Urodynamics, I was still on Doxazosin and pursuing a new approach: physical therapy. I first met with a wonderful woman outside of DC whose office was welcoming and yoga studio-like. I desperately wanted her to take care of me but knew that a 90 minute commute each way via Metro (ah, the good old days when I still traveled independently!) was too much. She referred me to a rehab practice in DC where I worked with a woman who definitely knew her stuff but was significantly less nurturing. Under her tutelage I did Kegel after Kegel  to strengthen my pelvic floor. I was sent home with a rented device to put inside me  while I did my exercises. It was a hard and unpleasant couple of months, but I did come out of if with better bladder control. For a while. I continued to see the wonderful Dr. Phillips and returned for my second urodynamics study (some girls have all the luck!) the summer of 2012, two years after my first one. There were some unexpected updates.
Read more