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Showing posts from January, 2019

On Being An Only: In Which I Examine Life As the Sole Disabled Person in the Room

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A nice/terrible thing about living with MS is that it's often invisible. As mentioned in previous blogs, the occasional incontinence mishap can be a private hell, which is indeed a hell but is at least private. Fatigue is similar. A common complaint of people with MS is people saying, "But you look so good!" If you're vain like me, you tend to focus on the "look so good!" bit. Still, when others focus on the outside, the inside feels diminished. Disregarded. And that can hurt. In some ways, it was a relief when I began using a cane regularly. It's a sign to the outside world that says, "Hey, this person is different." The general public doesn't always notice that sign, but, even when I'm not shown the courtesy I'd like, when something goes wrong--a dropped glass, a stumble--folks see the cane and think "well, sure." I've moved with an M-acceSsory* for a long time, and I've often thought about how I am perceived.